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I need advice

A

Andyyyy627494

New member
I am bi 28 y.o male, I consider myself more str8 and I do have a thing for women, I'm in a long-term relationship with one. Also, I’ve met a gay guy and I developed feelings for him, we do have sex and even an emotional relationship. Because my fiance doesn't approve of anything more than a suck buddy, I need to break relations with him and want to keep him as a friend. But he admits that he loves me too much to be just friends, and I'm fighting with myself because I feel like 80% is str8 but there's this amazing feeling hard to describe I feel when with him. Might I develop a being more into guys now? We did things together that I have never done with any other guy, we kissed, we did everything in bed, and he's a great guy, I never want to lose. I'm afraid that bisexuality has made two people I love suffer, and It's killing me. I’ve got the acceptance, he said that it's okay to have a relationship with both genders, and always saying I love you. I used to say the same and now I can't. I asked can we keep our distance for a while, but I constantly think about him. Also, I feel bad after having sex with him, I feel guilty and shame. This situation is very hard for me, I don't accept myself as bisexual but I admit that I am.
Also, I am very afraid about it t what people will say if they ever going to find out. I'm surrendered by conservative people and in a very masculine world of heteros. I guess I want to have a family, but last time I almost break up with my fiancee, he was there for me, was supportive, and kind of kept us together. Never tried to get between us and later said it's too painful for him to not have me as a partner in some way he wants to work out. I don't know what move should I do, I am not very happy in my relationship, but afraid to finish it and I don't want to lose my best friend and I guess someone way more than just a friend. It's very complicated to be bisexual for me, I always had just a fun* buddy, but never develop this feeling. Was someone in this situation? Did Do you guys go from bi to gay or str8? Please advise me. I don't want to hurt them anymore and one thing on my mind is to stick to my fiancee, but I can't let him go too.
 
PGBC said:
Or your boss.
Click to expand...
I've seen that far too many times. It is an act of selfishness that hurts and diminishes everybody involved.
I've been a "boss" since my early twenties. The temptation is fierce, the opportunities countless, the damage unredeemable.

Somehow in 56 years, luckily, I managed to avoid the trap.
 
Advice from grandpa,," Spend your life making decisions upon which, when one looks back on them, you can smile."
I know we are off subject here but frankly, the subject of the OP sucks.
 
Sleeping with the boss is one of the worst things a mate, husband or wife, can do to a relationship. The boss ( or coworker) has 8 hours a day plus afterwork drinks to press the romance. The mate is away working 8 to 10 hours or more where they cannot focus as much on the relationship of which they should be able to assume confidence and trust.

And, if the illicit couple has after work "drinks," the mate loses that time opportunity as well. The faithful mate has the deck stacked against them.

The couple's original romance was filled with the dreams of a life together, kids and a house, exclusive intamcies and love. All done openly before the families and friends. The illicit affair is done in secret for the purposeful end target of one thing. Sex. Period!

There is no "after life" to a cheat-based romance.

Leaving one or both with a huge empty chasm after which all that was aspired and planned with the couple's original romance, and possibly their careers, is destroyed. How is that at ever worth it?
 
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with being bisexual; first and foremost, you should always accept yourself just as you are. It's also important to remember that physical attraction isn't always tied to a person's ability to feel emotionally connected to them and that you can have strong feelings of love and affection for people of different genders even if you don't find them sexually attractive.

You, your fiance, and the other guy you've been seeing are all clearly suffering as a result of this situation. Even if it's uncomfortable, it's best to be open and honest about how you feel, both with yourself and with them. To continue acting as though everything is fine in your relationship would be unfair to both you and your fiancée. However, you should respect your fiancee's space and emotions, and you should expect the breakup to be difficult for both of you.

There are two possible explanations for your attraction to the other guy: either you're experiencing a change in your sexual orientation or you're simply discovering a facet of yourself that you haven't fully acknowledged before. There is no one "correct" way to be bisexual, and it's normal to experience fluctuating levels of attraction to both sexes.

Staying true to who you are and what you want is paramount, but so is treating the people who matter to you with respect and kindness at all times.
 
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