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i am very upset

B

benspawpaw

New member
please keep me and my wife in your prayers.my son is coming home this weekend, been locked up for a year an a half because of friends and meth.his son ben has not seen him for 2 years because his mom hates my son aned doesnt want ben to see him so bad that she went to court and her lawyer pulled some slick shit to get a restraining order. now that he is coming home to live with us my grandson connot come to my house to see us till my son completes a bunch of crap that her and her lawyer got a sorryass judge here to sign off on. we still get to see ben just not at our house. he has been here almost every day of the week since school was out from morn till night. now no more. i am so upset all i can do is cry. i love ben so much he means the world to me and nana and he loves to come here to work in the shop building stuff and working in the yard with nana. it is just not fair for him to be punished because his mom is a butthole. sorry to vent on you guys but please pray for GODS favor on us in this and for strength for me and nana. i love you guys, thanks for being there.:sad::sad::sad: BPP
 
Ummmm, BPP? This is gonna be some tough love here. Your son, Ben's dad, just spent a 18 months in jail for drugs, meth no less. Ben's mom was good enough to allow you all that time this summer with Ben while dad was in jail. It seems to me your anguish and anger are a little misdirected. Ben's mom doesn't sound like the "butthole" here ...

That said, it's a sad circumstance. I wish you well.
 
jpr62902 said:
Ummmm, BPP? This is gonna be some tough love here..
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BPP,
Sam is right. And you would be doing your son, daughter in law and grandson a favor by abiding by the rules set up. You may not like it but in the long run it is the best. Go to your grandson and talk to him so he understands. You have to understand it was not your DIL's fault, it was your son's. If your son really wants to make things right he will. If you fight this you could end up losing both. Not going to be an easy task and my family will be praying for all of you. Best wishes, Gods will would be for your son to make a turn around.


murph
 
Help get your son on to the right track. Focus on making sure stays straight and doesn't return to old habits or friends. The further counseling might just do him good. Then get him to find a job and move out on his own. Then little Ben will be back to your place.
Best wishes as you work through this. Good thoughts and prayers coming your way.
 
Doc said:
Help get your son on to the right track. Focus on making sure stays straight and doesn't return to old habits or friends. The further counseling might just do him good. Then get him to find a job and move out on his own. Then little Ben will be back to your place.
Best wishes as you work through this. Good thoughts and prayers coming your way.
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Those were my thoughts. If your son gets a job and isn't at your house during the day, can your grandson continue to come over?

Good luck!
 
BPP...We're glad you're here too!!!

You have a challenge in front of you for sure. I hope that your boy has used his time well and has been able to find in himself the strength he'll need to start over again in a time that is difficult for even those who have managed to stay on the right path. He will experience tremendous temptation and frustration along his journey. Although one never looses the love for their children you can not make them do things that they are hell bent on not participating in. That will make it equally hard for you. Be there for him and point the way. Occasionally kick him in the ass and put him back on track if he strays. Most of all, don't loose your focus on reality.

Prayers for strength coming your way my friend.
 
BPP, I commend you and Nana for offering a place for your Son to come to, even though it will bring heart ache to both of you. Now make sure he lives up to the agreement of his release, help him get gainfully employed and out on his own. That may allow him and you two to see Ben regularly again. He may miss his son, I don't know, but he needs to straighten up. And he won't be able to enjoy Ben as you do if he doesn't.
You on the other hand are going to suffer the most in the short term. And that makes me sad, but do what you can to help this "boy" of yours. Make him realize how great it is to have Ben around. Ben's mom must be a reasonable person or you would not have been seeing Ben all this time. She may have her reasons for this action. Please don't condemn her. Work with her and your son to get all of this behind you.

I know of what you speak. When my son and his wife separated this year, there was an automatic restraining order made by the Judge. No contact from anyone in his family to my Daughter in Law or any member of her family. That meant that I could not even talk to my Granddaughter on the phone much less see her AT ALL. A lot of people here could tell you how I feel about that little girl. If you doubt it, click on the link in my signature. Thankfully the order was lifted in two weeks.
 
to ohio your grandbabie is a doll

toall of you guys like i said before

i love you guys thanks and do keep praying for my family:smile:

yall make me smile
 
Doc said:
Help get your son on to the right track. Focus on making sure stays straight and doesn't return to old habits or friends. The further counseling might just do him good. Then get him to find a job and move out on his own. Then little Ben will be back to your place.
Best wishes as you work through this. Good thoughts and prayers coming your way.
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I'll quote Doc here and say that I do agree with what was said.

Wishing you all the best BPP!!
 
Meth is a hard drug to deal with Bpp. I have a brother in federal prison (for what may turn out to be the rest of his life) over meth. As some of the others have pointed out, tough love is the only way to go.

It will turn out for the best and things will be better if your son can admit to the problem and agree with the help that is offered. It will not be easy but a loving family is some of the best treatment that he can get.
 
thank you jesus

today, sunday i was suprised by a knock at the door. who was it, but my grandson and his mom. she said she had felt led by god while in church this am to let ben come to our house as before, and my son can now see him. as i am writting this they are out back playing together. i cried my eyes out with the sweetest tears ever. thanks to all yall. like i said love yall. if you ever need me, just ask.:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:
 
Ben that sounds great. However, don't let your son screw it up now. He had to stay on track or your visitation will be pulled faster than you got it. You need to sit down with your son and have a good long talk with him and how he screwed up so many people lives but yet he can put it back together. Hopefully soon they will all be back together again.


murph
 
benspawpaw said:
doesnt want ben to see him so bad that she went to court and her lawyer pulled some slick shit to get a restraining order. now that he is coming home to live with us my grandson connot come to my house to see us till my son completes a bunch of crap that her and her lawyer got a sorryass judge here to sign off on.
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Make sure she gets the legal stuff done over so no one gets smacked with charges.
 
This is good to hear Bpp but don’t let your guard down just yet. Meth is an ugly mistress that can rear it’s head at some time again. The vigilance of a loving family is the only true cure. I have dealt with meth in my past and it is not easy to shake.
 
aww im sorry!! i hope things work out!! my mom and dad went through the same things my sisters husband was and is on meth bad!! nothing but trouble.my mom raised my nephew and they just moved far away about 3yrs ago.it broke my moms heart!!! i will pray for u:)
 
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