Junkman
Extra Super Moderator
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them,
"We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from
sex for one whole month."
The couple agreed and after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church.
When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the
husband obviously very depressed.
"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired. "We
are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for
the required month...." the young man replied sadly. The pastor
asked him what happened
"Well, the first week was difficult.... However, we managed to abstain
through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of
prayer, we managed to abstain."
"However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer,
reading from the Bible.... anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts
One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it.When
she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with
her right then and there." admitted the man, shamefacedly.
"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated
the pastor.
"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at
Home Depot either."
"We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from
sex for one whole month."
The couple agreed and after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church.
When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the
husband obviously very depressed.
"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired. "We
are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for
the required month...." the young man replied sadly. The pastor
asked him what happened
"Well, the first week was difficult.... However, we managed to abstain
through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of
prayer, we managed to abstain."
"However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer,
reading from the Bible.... anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts
One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it.When
she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with
her right then and there." admitted the man, shamefacedly.
"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated
the pastor.
"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at
Home Depot either."