At a press conference today, it was announced that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. Industry sources said the deal has been in the works for about 1,300 years. The overhead of twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah became prohibitive. By combining forces, the world can enjoy consistently high-quality service during the new, Fifteen Days of Chrismukah. Some layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hit hardest. One condition was that the Hebrew letters on the dreydl will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience. And instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the new dreydl message will be "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus's vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering gifts. One sticking point was whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner, but a breakthrough came last year when Oreos were declared Kosher. A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a Kwanzaa merger was in the works. The press conference closed with a rousing rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful!"
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One beautiful December evening, Pedro and Rosita sat under a full moon by the ocean. Pedro said, "Hey, Rosita! Let's do Weeweechu!" "Oh no, Pedro. Not now. Let's just look at the moon!" said Rosita. "Oh, c'mon, baby! Let's you and I do Weeweechu. You know I love you and this is the perfect time!" begged Pedro. "No, I just wanna hold your hand and watch the ocean." "Oh, please, corazoncito! Just once? Do Weeweechu with me!" Rosita saw that Pedro was sincere and relented. "Well, okay, Pedro. Just this one time, we'll do Weeweechu." Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang, "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas! Weeweechu a Merry Christmas! Weeweechu a Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year!"
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A blonde and a brunette were in the break room, discussing last night's company Christmas party. "Did you get laid?" asked the brunette. "Twice!" exclaimed the blonde. "Only twice?" said the brunette, skeptically. "Yeah," explained the blonde. "Once by the accounting department and once by the band!"
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Early in the morning of the Saturday before Christmas, a long line had gathered in front of the store. One small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. He tried again, but this time he got punched before being pushed to the back of the line. As he brushed himself off, he yelled, "That does it! You hit me one more time and I'm not going to open the store!"
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One beautiful December evening, Pedro and Rosita sat under a full moon by the ocean. Pedro said, "Hey, Rosita! Let's do Weeweechu!" "Oh no, Pedro. Not now. Let's just look at the moon!" said Rosita. "Oh, c'mon, baby! Let's you and I do Weeweechu. You know I love you and this is the perfect time!" begged Pedro. "No, I just wanna hold your hand and watch the ocean." "Oh, please, corazoncito! Just once? Do Weeweechu with me!" Rosita saw that Pedro was sincere and relented. "Well, okay, Pedro. Just this one time, we'll do Weeweechu." Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang, "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas! Weeweechu a Merry Christmas! Weeweechu a Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year!"
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A blonde and a brunette were in the break room, discussing last night's company Christmas party. "Did you get laid?" asked the brunette. "Twice!" exclaimed the blonde. "Only twice?" said the brunette, skeptically. "Yeah," explained the blonde. "Once by the accounting department and once by the band!"
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Early in the morning of the Saturday before Christmas, a long line had gathered in front of the store. One small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. He tried again, but this time he got punched before being pushed to the back of the line. As he brushed himself off, he yelled, "That does it! You hit me one more time and I'm not going to open the store!"