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Hell

mbsieg

awful member
Platinum Patron
>>
>> Subject: Fw: Hell explained by Chemistry Student
>>
>>
>>>
>>> ...
>>>>>
>>>>>The following is an actual question given on a University of
>>>>>Washington chemistry mid-term.
>>>>>
>>>>>The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared
>>>>>it
>
>>>>>with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
>>>>>the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
>>>>>
>>>>>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>>>>>(absorbs heat)?
>>>>>
>>>>>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>>>>>(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
>>>>>variant.
>>>>>
>>>>>One student, however, wrote the following:
>>>>>
>>>>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>>>>need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
>>>>>at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
>>>>>a
>
>>>>>soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>>>>>
>>>>>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>>>>>religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
>>>>>that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>>>>>Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
>>>>>belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
>>>>>Hell.
>>>>>
>>>>>With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
>>>>>souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
>>>>>change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
>>>>>for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
>>>>>of
>
>>>>>Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>>>>>
>>>>>This gives two possibilities:
>>>>>
>>>>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>>>>enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
>>>>>until all Hell breaks loose.
>>>>>
>>>>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>>>>Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
>>>>>over.
>>>>>
>>>>>So which is it?
>>>>>
>>>>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
>>>>>year
>
>>>>>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>>>>>into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
>>>>>must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
>>>>>already
>
>>>>>frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
>>>>>over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
>>>>>therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
>>>>>existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
>>>>>shouting "Oh my God."
>>>>>
>>>>>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>>>>>thebuck
>>>>
>>>>
 
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