Health Care Plan Breaking News

[thcri]

This just in,


[FONT=&quot]THIS JUST IN ...[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Democrats, realizing the huge success of the President's[FONT=&quot] "Cash For Clunkers"[/FONT] rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained a advanced copy of the proposal which is named....[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]CASH FOR CODGERS[/FONT][FONT=&quot]and it works like this... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person for each child they conceive. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts, while younger healthier codgers will earn them less.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Special [FONT=&quot]"Bonus Money"[/FONT] will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups such as; smokers, beer/ alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who eat/drink; beef, soda, fried foods, tater chips, lattes ,whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel sprouts, Carvel or Girl Scout Cookies.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]All codgers will be immediately rendered totally useless via toxic injection upon submission to the plan. This will insure that they are not secretly resold/reused or that their body parts be harvested to keep other codgers in decent repair.[/FONT]

 

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