Galvatron
Spock and Galvatron < one and the same
Harry's at the bar. It's midnight and he's been drinking hard since 5 that afternoon. He starts sweating, burping and as soon as the other patrons slide away, he throws up all over the bar and down the front of his shirt. He then proceeds to start blubbering and crying. As an old regular, the bartender patiently comes over, cleans off the bar and tenderly asks him why he's crying.
Harry: "My wife told me she'd leave me if I didn't stop coming home drunk. Now look at me..."
Bartender: "Harry, I've seen this a thousand times before. Just before you get home, take a twenty-dollar bill, stuff it in your shirt pocket and tell the wife that some drunk guy threw up on you and gave you twenty bucks to buy yourself a new shirt!"
Harry perks up thinking this is a brilliant plan and though he can barely stand he's so drunk, he orders another shot to "wash the taste of his mouth". The bartender, out of pure pity, complies and Harry slams his shot then stumbles out the door.
After, three tries and three wrong houses, he finally finds himself on his own front porch. He's so damn drunk that he can't get his key in the door and he's making a hell of a ruckus in the attempt. Sure enough, the wife wakes up and comes down to see what's making all the commotion. She opens the door, looks at him covered in puke and tears right into him yelling at the top of her lungs...
Harry: "Wait, wait, wait... Ya don't understand. This...(belch)...drunk guy down at da bar...thrown up on me. Felt so bad he...(burp)... gave me this here twenty-dollar bill to buy me a new...(belch)...shirt!"
He taps on his shirt pocket and the wife reaches in to investigate...
Wife: "Harry, there's forty-dollars in here?"
Harry: "Oh yeah...well...(burp)...he shit in my pants too."
Harry: "My wife told me she'd leave me if I didn't stop coming home drunk. Now look at me..."
Bartender: "Harry, I've seen this a thousand times before. Just before you get home, take a twenty-dollar bill, stuff it in your shirt pocket and tell the wife that some drunk guy threw up on you and gave you twenty bucks to buy yourself a new shirt!"
Harry perks up thinking this is a brilliant plan and though he can barely stand he's so drunk, he orders another shot to "wash the taste of his mouth". The bartender, out of pure pity, complies and Harry slams his shot then stumbles out the door.
After, three tries and three wrong houses, he finally finds himself on his own front porch. He's so damn drunk that he can't get his key in the door and he's making a hell of a ruckus in the attempt. Sure enough, the wife wakes up and comes down to see what's making all the commotion. She opens the door, looks at him covered in puke and tears right into him yelling at the top of her lungs...
Harry: "Wait, wait, wait... Ya don't understand. This...(belch)...drunk guy down at da bar...thrown up on me. Felt so bad he...(burp)... gave me this here twenty-dollar bill to buy me a new...(belch)...shirt!"
He taps on his shirt pocket and the wife reaches in to investigate...
Wife: "Harry, there's forty-dollars in here?"
Harry: "Oh yeah...well...(burp)...he shit in my pants too."
