Halloween Humor

[Tractors4u]

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,

when behind him he hears:



BUMP...




BUMP...




BUMP...



Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.


BUMP...



BUMP...



BUMP...



Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him


FASTER...


FASTER...


BUMP...



BUMP...



BUMP...


He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.



However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping


clappity-BUMP...


clappity-BUMP...




clappity-BUMP...



on his heels, the terrified man runs.


Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.



Bumping and clapping toward him.



The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!



Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...





and,





(hopefully you're really ready for this!!!)














The coffin stops!

 

[thcri]

Don't you have some work you should be doing??

 

[Tractors4u]

Don't you have some work you should be doing??

Right now I'm doing my best work!!!

 

[thcri]

Right now I'm doing my best work!!!

And your here on the internet

 

[pirate_girl]

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his system upset.

Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the hell was that all about?"

Still staring down, the drunk replied: "I think I just beat the sh!t out of a ghost!"

 

[Tractors4u]

I literally laughed out loud on that one.

 

[pirate_girl]

 

[Trakternut]

A very punny story, Brents!

 

[pirate_girl]

...

 

[American Woman]

That was funny Brents....
had me on the edge of my seat for a minute there

 

[Ice Queen]

Good 'uns.

 

[pirate_girl]

ok, late post, but this one made me chuckle (saw it on a card)

What do you get when you goose a ghost?






















A handful of sheet.
(all inaudible groans and omg's are welcome)