Good common sense..

[tsaw]

A good story you can tell even your youngest child and they will know the difference between a liberal Democrat and a conservative Republican.

I remember the time that Catherine, one of my daughter Shannon's friends when she was little, told me that she wanted to be President one day. Both of her parents are liberal Democrats and were standing there with us - and I asked Catherine, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

Catherine replied, 'I would give houses to all the homeless people.'

'Wow, what a worthy goal you have there, Catherine.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you are President to do that, you can come over to my house and clean up all the dog poop in the back yard and I will pay you $5.00. Then we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $5.00 to use for a new house.'

While her mom looked at me, Catherine, who was about 4, thought that over for a second, and Catherine replied, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop and you can pay him the $5.00?'


Welcome to the Republican Party, Catherine!

 

[colemancol]

Quite humorous..
Some common sence from me:

The Less You Know, The More You Make
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

-----------------------

The State Mental Hospital

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done …..Your turn!)