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For Rusty.....

NorthernRedneck

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!":doh:
 
Rusty walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer.

After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for another beer. This happens about another seven times before the curious bartender asks him, "Every time you order a beer, you look in your shirt pocket, why?"

Rusty replies, "I have a picture of Galvatron in there. When he starts to look good, I'll go home."
 
Galvatron phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
 
groomerguyNWO said:
Galvatron phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Click to expand...

Jerk...i drive a 2 seater sports :yum::yum::yum:
 
groomerguyNWO said:
Rusty walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer.

After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for another beer. This happens about another seven times before the curious bartender asks him, "Every time you order a beer, you look in your shirt pocket, why?"

Rusty replies, "I have a picture of Galvatron in there. When he starts to look good, I'll go home."
Click to expand...


yeah right. they'd have to cut me off and call a cab before that would ever happen :yum::yum::yum::yum::yum::yum::yum::yum:
 
Here's the Rusty version of the Lord's prayer.....






THE BEER PRAYER

Our lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be Thy drink,

Thy will be drunk,

(I will be drunk),

At home as I am in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillages,

As we forgive those who spill against us,

And lead us not to incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers,

For thine is the beer,

The bitter and the lager,

Forever and ever,

Barmen.
 
groomerguyNWO said:
Here's the Rusty version of the Lord's prayer.....






THE BEER PRAYER

Our lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be Thy drink,

Thy will be drunk,

(I will be drunk),

At home as I am in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillages,

As we forgive those who spill against us,

And lead us not to incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers,

For thine is the beer,

The bitter and the lager,

Forever and ever,

Barmen.
Click to expand...


:yum::yum::yum:


Pour my Beer My Lord Pull My Beer

Pour my Beer My Lord Pull My Beer

Pour my Beer My Lord Pull My Beer

O Lord Pour My Beer.

:yum::yum::yum:
 
I will check with you Sunday evening and see what you have left! Snow should be getting going about now down there. They are showing D.C. and Baltimore on TV right now and it is snowing right along.:yum:
 
Even the three little pigs like to tie one on every now and then....



A pig walks into the bar and asks for a pitcher of beer. He drank it all then asked the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".

Another pig walks into the bar and orders 2 pitchers of beer. He finishes them off and then asks where the bathroom is. The bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".

Another pig walks into the bar and orders 3 pitchers of beer. Finishing them off he was just going to stand up when the bartender asks him "well aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" The pig replies " no, i am going to go wee wee wee all the way home."
 
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