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Flying Nun

O

OkeeDon

New member
A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago . She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight vending machines that tells your fortune and thought to herself, "I'll give it a try and see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine, stepped up on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., and you are going to Chicago ."

The nun sat back down. She told herself that the machine probably gives the same card to everyone. The more she thought about it, the more curious she got, so she decided to try it again. She went back to the machine and again put her nickel in, and out came a card that read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you are going to Chicago and you are going to play a fiddle."

The nun says to herself, "I know that is wrong, I have never played a musical instrument even once in my life." She sat back down. From out of nowhere a cowboy came over and sat down, putting his fiddle case in the seat between them. Without thinking, she opened the cowboy's case, took out the fiddle, and started playing beautiful music. Surprised at what she had done, she looked over at the machine, thinking, "This is incredible, I've got to try this again."

Back to the machine she went, put in another nickel, and another card came out. It read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you are going Chicago and you are going to break wind."

Now she knows the machine is wrong, as she thought to herself, "I've never broken wind in public a single time in my life", but getting down off the scale, she slipped, and as she was straining to keep herself from falling to the floor, she broke wind.

Absolutely stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, this is truly remarkable! I have got to try this again. "

She went back to the machine, put in another nickel, and another card came out. It read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you have fiddled farted around and missed your flight to Chicago!"
 
I typically hear this joke at sales training meetings, its always a little different, sometimes a guy or lady catching a train or a plane, but the gist of it is still the same thing.

However, everytime I've ever heard this joke it was told as a life lesson not as a joke.
The lesson being that sometimes we distract ourselves from the real goal and lose focus in what we really set out to accomplish.
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OkeeDon said:
Huh. I just thought it was funny. There are too many life lessons and not enough laughter.
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You're right Don, sometimes we need to quit looking at life so seriously and step back and laugh a little. Here's another one along the same lines. I still think it's funny, but Skurka thinks it's lame... :rolleyes:


A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the animal, but unfortunately it jumped in front of the car and was hit.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead.

The driver felt so awful, he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying at the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto it.

Miraculously the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. Fifty yards away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved and hopped down the road, another 50 yards, turned, waved and hopped another 50 yards.

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can!!

He ran over to the woman and asked, "What is in your spray can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
 
OkeeDon said:
I never saw that one coming. I laughed and I'm still chuckling.
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I've heard that one at sales training seminars also, but I guess you don't want to hear how that one ends either :hide:
 
Hmmm, no wonder I haven't met a good salesman yet. They sit around all day telling jokes........
 
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