So I'm holding the door for this Japanese guy... And he looks over to me and says "Sank you!" Can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that...
If a camera adds on 10 pounds, do African children even exist?
What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? Rolaids.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke.
What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None... he fell.
What's the best part of sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.
What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race.
I ran into Hitler. I was surprised to see him and asked him what he was up to? He said "This time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and two clowns!" "Two Clowns? Why are you going to kill two clowns?" "See? Nobody cares about zee Jews."
A white woman and a black man are dancing at a club, and after a while things start to get hot and heavy. After some heavy kissing and petting, the woman makes the suggestion that they return to her apartment for the night.
When the couple arrives at the woman's apartment, they begin passionately kissing and undressing each other, preparing to have frenzied and unrepentant sex with each other.
However, the white woman, curious as she was, asked the black guy as he was taking off his pants, "before you take them off....is it true what they say about black guys?"
With a suave yet sinister look, he looked into her eyes and said "baby, of course." He then proceeded to stab her and ran out with her purse.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? I don't cry when I'm cutting up the hooker.
A guy goes to a whorehouse and tells the madam he only wants to spend 5 bucks. The madam thinks for a bit, then says, "Betsy. She's down the hall, last door on the left."
The guy walks down, sees Betsy -- she's not the best looking, but she would do. He puts it in and it's the worst feeling he's ever had on his dick -- like sandpaper and teeth. He pulls out and tells her. "Um. something's wrong, can you do something about that?" Betsy crinkles her face, then says, "Why of course! But it will run you another five bucks." She pockets the fiver and goes to the bathroom and is back in no time.
The guy puts it back in and now, it's the complete opposite: it's the best feeling he's ever had, and finishes in a flash. Panting, he asks her, "oh my god... that felt amazing... what did you do??" Betsy smiles, and says, "for the extra five bucks, I pick the scabs."
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None. (famine joke)
What's a Jew's biggest dilemma? Free ham.
What do Jewish pedophiles say? "Hey kid, want to buy some candy?"
What's the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger.
Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctors waiting room knitting. Mom 1 checks her watch and takes a pill "Vitamin C, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 2 takes a pill and says, "Vitamin A, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 3 takes a pill and says, "Thalidomide...I can't knit sleeves."
I would tell a Casey Anthony joke, but my mom would kill me...
I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
Why do black men cry during sex? Mace.
God gave women yeast infections so that they would know what it was like living with an irritating cunt for once.
I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!" Kinky bitch.
Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.
What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? Drowns
What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day, everyone wants to be Irish.
What was good about the million man march? Only three people missed work.
What's the best thing about fucking homeless girls? When you're done, you can drop 'em off anywhere.
Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black.
If a camera adds on 10 pounds, do African children even exist?
What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? Rolaids.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke.
What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None... he fell.
What's the best part of sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.
What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race.
I ran into Hitler. I was surprised to see him and asked him what he was up to? He said "This time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and two clowns!" "Two Clowns? Why are you going to kill two clowns?" "See? Nobody cares about zee Jews."
A white woman and a black man are dancing at a club, and after a while things start to get hot and heavy. After some heavy kissing and petting, the woman makes the suggestion that they return to her apartment for the night.
When the couple arrives at the woman's apartment, they begin passionately kissing and undressing each other, preparing to have frenzied and unrepentant sex with each other.
However, the white woman, curious as she was, asked the black guy as he was taking off his pants, "before you take them off....is it true what they say about black guys?"
With a suave yet sinister look, he looked into her eyes and said "baby, of course." He then proceeded to stab her and ran out with her purse.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? I don't cry when I'm cutting up the hooker.
A guy goes to a whorehouse and tells the madam he only wants to spend 5 bucks. The madam thinks for a bit, then says, "Betsy. She's down the hall, last door on the left."
The guy walks down, sees Betsy -- she's not the best looking, but she would do. He puts it in and it's the worst feeling he's ever had on his dick -- like sandpaper and teeth. He pulls out and tells her. "Um. something's wrong, can you do something about that?" Betsy crinkles her face, then says, "Why of course! But it will run you another five bucks." She pockets the fiver and goes to the bathroom and is back in no time.
The guy puts it back in and now, it's the complete opposite: it's the best feeling he's ever had, and finishes in a flash. Panting, he asks her, "oh my god... that felt amazing... what did you do??" Betsy smiles, and says, "for the extra five bucks, I pick the scabs."
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None. (famine joke)
What's a Jew's biggest dilemma? Free ham.
What do Jewish pedophiles say? "Hey kid, want to buy some candy?"
What's the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger.
Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctors waiting room knitting. Mom 1 checks her watch and takes a pill "Vitamin C, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 2 takes a pill and says, "Vitamin A, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 3 takes a pill and says, "Thalidomide...I can't knit sleeves."
I would tell a Casey Anthony joke, but my mom would kill me...
I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
Why do black men cry during sex? Mace.
God gave women yeast infections so that they would know what it was like living with an irritating cunt for once.
I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!" Kinky bitch.
Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.
What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? Drowns
What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day, everyone wants to be Irish.
What was good about the million man march? Only three people missed work.
What's the best thing about fucking homeless girls? When you're done, you can drop 'em off anywhere.
Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black.