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Fighting a losing battle

muleman

muleman

Gone But Not Forgotten
Been wondering a lot lately if all the effort we put into extending life is a proper thing to do. While I certainly would not be here now if that effort had not been put forth it still challenges me. All the test and docs and treatments are only going to yield X amount of time before we experience the same fate. Maybe I had too much statistical analysis over the years but trends and ranges are easy to follow even in these things. I am charting my cell counts and now that they are done weekly it is much easier to start eliminating variables and finding chart-able factors. I hope it will make some of my care decisions easier.:hammer:
 
muleman said:
Been wondering a lot lately if all the effort we put into extending life is a proper thing to do.
Click to expand...
It's always a proper thing to do.

We're all going to go sometime Bill, and none of us know when, do we?
Every single hour, minute and second on this earth is precious.
Every person matters to someone else, but more importantly, to He who made you.
 
I have always considered life on earth to be a battle we will all loose in the end. It just depends on what day in the eventual track we take in life, today is. Is it the end? We don't get to pick the day, the hour, or the method. We live each day, knowing what will happen, just not how or when. Life is a risky business, and the outcomes are not always what we expect. We have to accept what it brings us, like it or not. We have a choice to make as to how we live from day to day, and how we are going make the best of each one is up to us. Attitude is every thing, and how we pull through the hardest things in life. Keep up your attitude, stay positive and find the good in life and those you love. The good lord will take care of the rest...

All the best, Kirk
 
I guess a lot of it is the cheap old Dutchman in me always looking for a return of some sort. I have seen folks pass both with and without medical intervention and the amount of suffering was almost identical. Sometimes the cures are worse than the disease. There is plenty of info available on cost/benefit of various treatments but it is hard to get it from docs. Maybe a lot of it is my own internal rebellion against always having folks assume you will just go along with their ideas on things. They act like you don't have a choice in your own care or want to sidetrack you with other discussions. Last Tuesday I had to be blunt with my doc lady about what MY priorities were. Still waiting for a response as they seem to feel ignoring a question will make me go away. Wrong answer! I don't take well to having other folks make decisions for me and am serious when I tell them no to a procedure or medication. I keep going for the tests but that is as much for my own info as theirs.

 
Sorry PG but I think that there is a time to say, "It's time", except that in Muleman's case that ain't anytime soon.

Keep going bro'. Stay positive, stay in control of the situation and the one thing that I have learned in this life is that good things happen to good people. :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:
 
Mule, I have faced this too at different times. It comes to this.
The fight for life is a battle we will eventually lose. It is not the winning or losing that matters, its how well we fought the fight.
I have watched my father fight a disease that normally kills within 6 years and saw him survive almost 15 so far. He has his dark days but seems determined to hang around long enough to see his great-great grandchildren. I can only admire his determination and willingness to continue on. There are times, I know, when he just wants to give up, but he keeps going anyway. Maybe out of sheer cussedness, maybe out of an inner courage I only wish I had half of.
You are one I consider a friend. Carry your banner high and make yourself, and those who love you proud of your fight.
 
loboloco said:
Mule, I have faced this too at different times. It comes to this.
The fight for life is a battle we will eventually lose. It is not the winning or losing that matters, its how well we fought the fight.
I have watched my father fight a disease that normally kills within 6 years and saw him survive almost 15 so far. He has his dark days but seems determined to hang around long enough to see his great-great grandchildren. I can only admire his determination and willingness to continue on. There are times, I know, when he just wants to give up, but he keeps going anyway. Maybe out of sheer cussedness, maybe out of an inner courage I only wish I had half of.
You are one I consider a friend. Carry your banner high and make yourself, and those who love you proud of your fight.
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What HE said:biggrin:

Mule the fight is yours to wage until YOU decide it is no longer worth the effort.

You owe no one else an explanation or excuse.


This may seem easy to say from those who don't see the "road ends, no outlet" sign but we all know it is coming. Remember, it is not the destination but the journey.

"we are but poor souls passing between the eternities"
Duvall
 
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loboloco said:
Mule, I have faced this too at different times. It comes to this.
The fight for life is a battle we will eventually lose. It is not the winning or losing that matters, its how well we fought the fight.
I have watched my father fight a disease that normally kills within 6 years and saw him survive almost 15 so far. He has his dark days but seems determined to hang around long enough to see his great-great grandchildren. I can only admire his determination and willingness to continue on. There are times, I know, when he just wants to give up, but he keeps going anyway. Maybe out of sheer cussedness, maybe out of an inner courage I only wish I had half of.
You are one I consider a friend. Carry your banner high and make yourself, and those who love you proud of your fight.
Click to expand...

FrancSevin said:
What HE said:biggrin:

Mule the fight is yours to wage until YOU decide it is no longer worth the effort.

You owe no one else an explanation or excuse.


This may seem easy to say from those who don't see the "road ends, no outlet" sign but we all know it is coming. Remeber, it is not the destination but the journey.

"we are but poor souls passing between the eternities"
Duvall
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Well said guys. :agree:

Muley ..... I've struggled with how to reply to this thread. You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend. These guys said it much better than I ever could. That said; I hope you keep on keeping on my friend. :thumb:
 
loboloco said:
Mule, I have faced this too at different times. It comes to this.
The fight for life is a battle we will eventually lose. It is not the winning or losing that matters, its how well we fought the fight.
I have watched my father fight a disease that normally kills within 6 years and saw him survive almost 15 so far. He has his dark days but seems determined to hang around long enough to see his great-great grandchildren. I can only admire his determination and willingness to continue on. There are times, I know, when he just wants to give up, but he keeps going anyway. Maybe out of sheer cussedness, maybe out of an inner courage I only wish I had half of.
You are one I consider a friend. Carry your banner high and make yourself, and those who love you proud of your fight.
Click to expand...

FrancSevin said:
What HE said:biggrin:

Mule the fight is yours to wage until YOU decide it is no longer worth the effort.

You owe no one else an explanation or excuse.


This may seem easy to say from those who don't see the "road ends, no outlet" sign but we all know it is coming. Remember, it is not the destination but the journey.

"we are but poor souls passing between the eternities"
Duvall
Click to expand...

I too agree the above words are better than anything I could add. So I will simply remind you that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Keep the Faith.
 
It is your choice as to when to stop treatment. However I hope you continue. I've enjoyed our conversations and hope to have many more. I can't add anything to what has already been said.
 
All the above posts are great!
Don't give in fight right to the end as long as there is a chance you have to roll the dice!


tom
 
Well folks i sure did not see this turn of this thread coming. I was more referring to the idea that a patient should have access to the latest stats and info so they can make informed choices. Seems like whenever you try to pin them down as to a success rate for something they dummy up or try to change the discussion around. I guess I am used to dealing with things head on or as some have told me just plain hard headed. :clap: Smile folks!:clap:
 
Sounds a bit like you are too damm stubborn to let this dragon beat you.

Good for you Muley.!:clap:
My grandma used to say "whenever you get down and feel like chucking it in, just plant something. You'll then have the obligtions to stick around, water it and see it grow." I see ya been doin' a bit of that as well.
 
When he had bone cancer my dad had some thing like a "patient advocate" to work with him to explain his options when he was getting his chemo / radiation and to help him with the side effects.

With his second bout it was lung cancer he couldn't take any more chemo or radiation.
I found a trial for lung cancer that used Photosynthetick chemo were they give you the drugs and no major side effects other you have to be in subdued light then they put a scope in your lungs with light that activates the chemo were the tumors are but because they were in a trial he wasn't a candidate to try it.

Keep your head in the game and push them for the answers and options so you can make a educated decision.

Ill be up your way this weekend how about breakfast or lunch Saturday on me?

tom
 
I have an appointment with the Doc on the 26th. He is a good guy but has a heck of an accent and I can't hear all that well. I may ask one of the nurses to help out with questions. They always ask if I can understand him or have any questions so I am taking a list. That allows me to stay focused on my questions and not get the redirect they like to use. Too many women in my life all telling me what to do lately.:hammer: I do miss my old lady doc as she would answer you straight up or make sure to call you back if she did not have an immediate answer. I hate having to chase down docs for an answer.
 
Went for blood work at the cancer center and stopped at the new lady doc's office. She started her routine about how she was waiting for a call back from a different cardiac doc than I see. I politely and firmly reminded her that the last time that doc saw me was 2007 when he left me eating nitro till they ended up hitting me with the crash cart while he was golfing. I pointed out the RN in the next office and politely told her she knows more about my care than any of the heart docs so go ask her. She did go ask her and also got my psa test results. Shame you have to be so assertive but after 13 days I wanted answers!:hammer:
 
Good job Muley. You handled that situation well. :clap: :clap:
 
Well I met with the cancer doc today and he answered my questions pretty straight up. Will be dropping back to every other week for the blood tests as they show little change in cell counts. Reds are up a little and whites are down. He agreed that unless there is a drastic change there is not much else to do at this time. Will go back to him in 7 weeks to evaluate and maybe go to once a month. He explained why they are so big on poking my belly and abdomen. He is very big on watching my liver for problems as it shows some deterioration in a lot of their tests. My own chart of the results shows my cell counts to be pretty stable even though they are not in desirable levels. I plan to just keep eating veggies a lot and staying away from anything but water to drink. He still feels it will require big blood transfusions down the road but we ain't there yet. My oldest sister is waiting for answers about being a marrow donor. She has some health issues as well as her age that make less than ideal as a donor.
 
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