curtain rods

[Cowboyjg]

CURTAIN RODS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.​

​

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.​

​

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water ​

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.​

​

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.​

Then slowly, the house began to smell.​

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.​

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned .​

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!​

People stopped coming over to visit.​

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.​

​

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.​

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.​

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.​

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to​

purchase a new place ...​

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going .​

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back ​

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day ..​

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.​

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........​

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!​

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?​

CURTAIN RODS​

 

[thcri]

good one

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

that is so old, but friggin funny nonetheless!

 

[The Tourist]

My wife and I actually did something like that. We were buying our first home, and moving away from the landlord from hell.

(He was the kind of guy that would go into our apartment if we left to go to the movies. We solved the problem by putting an "ADT" sticker on our door.)

During the week we were packing, the landlord came up with a bunch of chores for us to do before he would return our security deposit. One of them was to clean and defrost the refrigerator.

I simply pulled the plug.

The next day when we exchanged the keys and went to get our money, I noticed a large puddle forming uder the refrigerator. Deftly, I saw my wife slide a small rug into the puddle like a sponge.

We got our deposit back, in cash.

We had also cleaned out our apartment and sorted out a lot of stuff we were not going to be taking with us. We filled up most of our side of the garage.

As we left he admonished, "I expect you to be here Monday morning to help me carry that stuff to the curb."

As I backed out I said, "Be looking for me," and I rolled up the car window.

I turned to my wife and smirked, "Well, he can be looking for me, but I doubt he'll actually see me..."