Crusty Navy Chief

[Doc]

Lighten Up A crusty old Chief found himself at a gala event downtown,
hosted by a local (strictly women's) liberal arts college. There was no
shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of
whom approached the Chief for conversation.

She said, "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are
you this way all the time, or is something bothering you?"

"No," the Chief said, "just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks
like you have seen a lot of action."

The Chief's short reply was, "Yep, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You
know, you should lighten up a little - relax and enjoy yourself."

The Chief just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the
wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

The chief continued to stare at her and replied, "1955."

She said, "Well, there you go; you really need to chill out and quit
taking everything so seriously - I mean, no sex since 1955, isn't that a
little extreme?"

The Chief, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "Oh,
I don't know. It's only 2130 now!"

 

[Doc]

...and one more:

Command Master Chief Selection A young Navy Officer was in a car
accident, but due to the heroics of another young officer the only
permanent injury was to both ears, which subsequently were amputated.
Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and
eventually became an Admiral. He remained, however, very sensitive
about is appearance. One day the new Admiral was interviewing three
Master Chiefs for the Command Master Chief position. The first Master
Chief was a Surface warfare type and it was a great interview. At the
end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything
different about me?" The Surface Warfare Master Chief answered, "Why
yes. I couldn't help but notice you have no ears."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tack and threw him out of his
office. The Aviation Master Chief replied, "Well yes. You have no
ears." The Admiral threw him out also. The third interview was with a
Submarine Master Chief. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed
to know more than the other two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral
wanted this guy, and went ahead with the same question, "Do you notice
anything differently about me?" To his surprise the Submarine Master
Chief said, "Yes. You wear contact lenses." The Admiral was impressed
and thought to himself, what an incredibly observant Master Chief, and
he didn't mention my ears. "And how do you know that?", the Admiral
asked. The Submarine Master Chief replied, "Well it's pretty hard to
wear glasses with no frigging ears."