Condom Emergency......

[duflochy]

President Boris Yeltsin called Clinton with an emergency:

"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried.

"My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.

"I do need your help," said Yeltsin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"

"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Clinton.

"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Yeltsin.

"Yes?"

"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.

"No problem," replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor, you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia."

"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.

"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."

"Easily done. Anything else?"

"Yeah," said the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one."

 

[fuzznutz]

 

[EastTexFrank]

An oldie but goodie.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

speaking of condoms....


A Canadian tourist was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American, chewing gum, sat next to him.
The Canadian politely ignored the American, who, never the less started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folks eat the whole bread?"
The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."
The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the states, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect, recycle them, and transform them into croissants and sell them to Canada."
The American had a smirk on his face. The Canadian listened in silence. The American persisted. "D'yall eat jam with the bread?" Sighing the Canadian replied, "Of course." Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the states, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell them to Canada."
The Canadian then asked, "Do you have sex in the states?"
The American smiled and said, "Why of course we do." The Canadian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
" We throw them away, of course." says the American.
Now it was the Canadian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Canada, we recycle them, we put them in a container, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the states.