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CHEMICAL DESCRIPTION OF A WOMAN

Durwood RIP

Gone But Not Forgotten
CHEMICAL DESCRIPTION OF A WOMAN

This is the elemental description of the chemical element Woman

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 50 Kg, but varies from 45 Kg to 250 Kg


PHYSICAL PROPERTIES.

1.- Surface usually lined with painted film (in the order of 0-6m to 0-3m).
2.- Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3.- Melts if given special treatment.
4.- Bitter if used incorrectly.
5.- Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6.- Yields to pressure applied at the correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES.

1.- Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
2.- Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances.
3.- May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no reason.
4.- Insoluble in liquids, but alcohol saturation increases activity.
5.- Most powerful income-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USE.

1.- Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2.- Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3.- Useful for general cleaning, scrubbing, washing, rubbing, etc.

TEST.

1.- Pure specimen turns pink when discovered in the natural state.
2.- Turns green when placed next to a better specimen.


HAZARDS.

1.- Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2.- Illegal to posses more than one.
 
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