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Boys
- Thread starter thcri
- Start date
thcri
Gone But Not Forgotten
And you also find out interesting
things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a
ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like
ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX. has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24 .) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a
ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like
ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX. has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24 .) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
I was thinking I had told this story on here before, but I can't find it in my old posts, so here it is.
About 20 years ago, when my son was small, we had an annual family (wife's) camping trip to Lake Pomme de Terre in southwest Missouri. My brother-in-law was an avid fisherman and was very persnickety about his fishing stuff. We were sitting around the fire having a brew one afternoon when we realized we hadn't heard from my son in a while. I went looking for him and found him by my bro-in-law's camper. BIL had all his plastic worms in bags soaking in attractant, and Mike had gotten in his tackle box, got all his worms out of the bags and played with them in the dirt. He also had gotten in the minnow bucket, removed each minnow, squeezed it's head, thrown it out, and filled the bucket with dirt and rocks. When my BIL heard me laughing he came over to see what was going on and about went nuts. He had two girls. I told him if he'd had boys he'd be used to this kind of thing. He also had a john boat that when you raised the motor up at shore the steering cable went slack, and he was always warning not to turn the steering wheel with the motor up or the cable would come off the spool. Well, later that same day, my wife took Mike down to the water to swim and let him play in Pat's boat. Sure enough, he had to drive and the cable jumped off the spool. It took my BIL and I about an hour to get the steering back working. He said he was sure glad he didn't have any boy children!
Hutch
About 20 years ago, when my son was small, we had an annual family (wife's) camping trip to Lake Pomme de Terre in southwest Missouri. My brother-in-law was an avid fisherman and was very persnickety about his fishing stuff. We were sitting around the fire having a brew one afternoon when we realized we hadn't heard from my son in a while. I went looking for him and found him by my bro-in-law's camper. BIL had all his plastic worms in bags soaking in attractant, and Mike had gotten in his tackle box, got all his worms out of the bags and played with them in the dirt. He also had gotten in the minnow bucket, removed each minnow, squeezed it's head, thrown it out, and filled the bucket with dirt and rocks. When my BIL heard me laughing he came over to see what was going on and about went nuts. He had two girls. I told him if he'd had boys he'd be used to this kind of thing. He also had a john boat that when you raised the motor up at shore the steering cable went slack, and he was always warning not to turn the steering wheel with the motor up or the cable would come off the spool. Well, later that same day, my wife took Mike down to the water to swim and let him play in Pat's boat. Sure enough, he had to drive and the cable jumped off the spool. It took my BIL and I about an hour to get the steering back working. He said he was sure glad he didn't have any boy children!
Hutch
