As you slide down the banister of life, remember........
1) Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's
called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People".
2) Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3) The difference between the Pope and your boss..the Pope only expects you
to kiss his ring.
4) The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the
bathroom.
5) I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink
spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
6) A husband is someone who, after taking out he trash, give the impression
that he just cleaned the whole house.
7) My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines and a large
trash can.
8) A blond said "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I
was relieved when you told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
9) I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for
Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
building.
10) My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and
found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could
be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will?
What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."
11) Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
12) As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point
the wrong way.
"You don't stop laughing because you grow old--you grow old because you
stop laughing!"
1) Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's
called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People".
2) Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3) The difference between the Pope and your boss..the Pope only expects you
to kiss his ring.
4) The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the
bathroom.
5) I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink
spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
6) A husband is someone who, after taking out he trash, give the impression
that he just cleaned the whole house.
7) My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines and a large
trash can.
8) A blond said "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I
was relieved when you told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
9) I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for
Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
building.
10) My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and
found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could
be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will?
What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."
11) Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
12) As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point
the wrong way.
"You don't stop laughing because you grow old--you grow old because you
stop laughing!"
