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Bad Boyfreind

tsaw

tsaw

New member
Diana just woke me up to ask to borrow some money. WHAT?? I pay everything! I don't charge her a penny to live here. I give her my debit card to go Walmart shopping. I pay for AND do her laundry. She has a good paying job. About $400.00 net a week with full bankers benefits.
So why is she broke? A BAD BOYFREIND! This guy broke up with her twice this year, and I had to listen to her cry her eyes out. They got back together. Then, he got from her $500.00 to buy a car. Then he was in OK and needed to come home. She Flew down there (paid for her own ticket) Paid for the gas to get back.

Now the real kicker!!! He proposed and gave her what I would guess is a fake diamond ring.

Last night they got into a fight about her spending too much time with her friends.

OMFG!!! I thought when they turn 18.. it was going to get easy!

NOw, after I was woken up and told her she was making a mistake... I'm the ass hole!!

"He will pay me back BLA BLA BLA"
I KNEW that the reason why he wanted her to fly down to OK - was so she could pay his way!

So.. after this argument.. what does she do?
She invites (4) FOUR! freinds over here in my house!!!!

One of them is in my shower.. burning my propane.

I had a bad day today. I had to do 6 loads of laundry, and snow blow for two hours.

WHAT SHOULD I DO???????????????????
 
as much as i would like to tell you to beat his ass and put him in a shallow hole i think the best idea would be to let her live her life and do what she thinks is right with him and just hope for the best in that she will realize the mistake and move on with a good lesson learned. sometimes no matter how much you tell them something is a mistake, there are some things that are better learned through first hand experience all you can really do is let her know that reguardless of what happens that you are there for her when she needs you and support her in her life. if you push the issue too much it may make her pull away from you and you will miss out on the good times that she has in the future.
 
As long as she's living in your house, and you're paying for things for her, then she and only she should be in your house.
She needs to ditch the boyfriend. You need to tell her friends who are there to pack up and go home.
As long as she's living under your roof, her time spent there should be Diana and Dad time.. not dragging all the drama and friends in too.
She's too young to accept an engagement ring from what seems to be an immature dope who is taking her and you both for a ride.
Tie her down until she reaches the age of 21, or reason.. whichever comes first..
 
Sorry, Dad, but I think I'd toss her butt out. After she pays her own fare in the world and has few pennies left after, the boyfriend will be gone. She'll hate you for a while. It'll be about the most miserable time for the both of you, but, you'll need to STAND YOUR GROUND and not give in.

After she's done being pissed at you and sees the light, she'll be one highly educated lady and you'll have your girl back.
 
We were in a situation like that too with one of my daughters!
we decided the hotel was closing.
we sat all 4 of our kids down and listed our rules are
do your own laundry
pay us rent and board
no friends over with out prior approval from both of us (wife and me)
I am not working on your car no more
no more cash handouts
dropped their cell off our plan pay it your self
you make a mess clean it up because if i clean it up it go's in the trash
that sunk in after I threw out my daughters cell charger and phone died and with out here phone she was going through social withdrawal.
you have your own bath room we aren't cleaning it again

they weren't happy but I was :clap:

later we instituted the 3 strike rule you get to come back home 2x after moving out the 3rd time you are on your own end of discussion.

tom
 
Trakternut said:
Sorry, Dad, but I think I'd toss her butt out. After she pays her own fare in the world and has few pennies left after, the boyfriend will be gone. She'll hate you for a while. It'll be about the most miserable time for the both of you, but, you'll need to STAND YOUR GROUND and not give in.

After she's done being pissed at you and sees the light, she'll be one highly educated lady and you'll have your girl back.
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Ditto , Thats why its called tough love :wink:
 
She needs to grow up (her decsions and feelings are naive) and you need to firm up both in attitude and cash flow ............. Spoken from a guy that has sons, so take it for what it's worth.
 
Keep your wallet shut. She needs to learn to budget her own money and if she wants to give handouts to her boyfriend, she needs to budget for that, too. tommu56 has some great suggestions. If she doesn't want to live in your house by your rules, she can move out. The college of hard knocks provides an excellent education for most who attend. I remember coming in late one night and I hadn't called my mom to tell her. Of course, she had been worried but I got defensive maintaining I was 18 and didn't have to tell her my schedule...Her response was the expected as long as you are living in my house you will live by my rules but then she hit me with the kicker....."Young lady, you are NEVER old enough to be inconsiderate" Those were her exact words. She never had to say it to me again. It seared into my brain.
 
I did forget about cleaning the bathroom
I told all 4 that if they didn't keep it reasonable there would be a portapotty outside and the garden hose for showers!

tom
 
Trakternut said:
Sorry, Dad, but I think I'd toss her butt out. After she pays her own fare in the world and has few pennies left after, the boyfriend will be gone. She'll hate you for a while. It'll be about the most miserable time for the both of you, but, you'll need to STAND YOUR GROUND and not give in.

After she's done being pissed at you and sees the light, she'll be one highly educated lady and you'll have your girl back.
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What he said ///You are being used my friend . Sh'ell be back when she grows up .
 
I'm really pissed at her at this time. She came home, packed bags, and said she was going to spend time @ his house. I mentioned about the surgery outcome I was worried about on here. (Dargo's little girl) and the look she gave me shook me to my spine. The look was how dare you waste my time talking about that. She has no clue. I'm genuinely concerned. A new year is on the way, and she needs some lessons on what life is about.
 
It will work out, Tsaw. She has to make her way. Set some ground rules like tommu suggested and stand firm on them.
 
tsaw said:
I'm really pissed at her at this time. She came home, packed bags, and said she was going to spend time @ his house. I mentioned about the surgery outcome I was worried about on here. (Dargo's little girl) and the look she gave me shook me to my spine. The look was how dare you waste my time talking about that. She has no clue. I'm genuinely concerned. A new year is on the way, and she needs some lessons on what life is about.
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Change the locks on your house Tom , If not only for security from her boyfriend or other friends when you are not at home , but it will send her a message that you are standing your ground . :wink:
 
tsaw said:
I'm really pissed at her at this time. She came home, packed bags, and said she was going to spend time @ his house. I mentioned about the surgery outcome I was worried about on here. (Dargo's little girl) and the look she gave me shook me to my spine. The look was how dare you waste my time talking about that. She has no clue. I'm genuinely concerned. A new year is on the way, and she needs some lessons on what life is about.
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Cowboy said:
Change the locks on your house Tom , If not only for security from her boyfriend or other friends when you are not at home , but it will send her a message that you are standing your ground . :wink:
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Cowboy beat me to the punch!
 
We raised two girls and a boy, and eventually everyone settled down and got their shit together. If I could do it over again and had a choice, I'd take a house full of boys to raise. I feel your pain, and I know the pain is mostly in your heart because girls do that to you. I have no advice but will say a prayer that it works out for the best for both of you.
 
Yep, two daughters and my youngest, 26, still causes me worry. Best thing that happened to her was getting out on her own and learning what life is like without Daddy there to bail her out all the time as well as foot the bill.
 
Cowboy said:
Change the locks on your house Tom , If not only for security from her boyfriend or other friends when you are not at home , but it will send her a message that you are standing your ground . :wink:
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I agree with that. A young girl stirred up by hormonal passions has her brain all fuzzed up and her allegiances all crossed up. I know of someone whose daughter got messed up with a loser and they both ended up in jail. Guy posted bail for his daughter. Several months later his daughter and her boyfriend went back to the jail and somehow or another absconded with the money her daddy had put up for her bail...$700--800. Broke that man's heart that his daughter would do that to him.
Thank goodness she turned her life around. But it is an example of how off track a child can get. You can love them without trusting them.
 
Well sheesh. I always have something happening about Diana and then it turns out ok. Diana and this bad boyfriend broke up today. :clap: She had been staying with him since she got back, and tonight he left her alone, she texted him asking what he was going to do. He texted back - go out with the boys. So she told him she was going home. He texted back "leave the ring" LOL!!

She texted back "that's it we are DONE" LOL!!

There are lots more texting - but guess what?
I WAS RIGHT! He just used her all along.

Then I learn that he didn't just get her for 500 bucks, but 700 plus gas money that she paid to get his ass back to Hayward. The best part as always is she is not crying and upset.
 
Congrats on that Tom. I hope she stays away from him now. To often they get back together so bite your tounge. Saying bad stuff about the BF's only seems to push the gals back to them. :confused:
Best wishes for a GREAT New Year!
 
tom, I raised a boy and a girl. The girl I finally had to tell her she was going to have to sit in jail or deal with her problems. She managed to break my pocketbook first though.
She decided she would deal with her problems. she now has 3 kids, and is studying Mortuary science. Got her head together and quit wanting 'bad boys' with the emphasis on 'boys'.
 
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