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Av8r's Mom, too...

A

Av8r3400

Gone Flyin'
We found out over the weekend that my Mother has an inoperable pancreatic cancer.

She is 81, in very good spirits and is taking the news in stride. We (as a family) are helping her get started on some radiation therapy, soon, to 'control' the tumor, hopefully, extend her quality time that she has with us.

They won't give us an estimate on her time left, but I guess, in the big picture, that is really immaterial.

If I could humbly ask my friends here to maybe remember her in their thoughts. We hope to do everything possible to make her remaining time as easy, pain free and loving as possible.

Thanks.
 
Av8r3400 said:
We found out over the weekend that my Mother has an inoperable pancreatic cancer.

She is 81, in very good spirits and is taking the news in stride. We (as a family) are helping her get started on some radiation therapy, soon, to 'control' the tumor, hopefully, extend her quality time that she has with us.

They won't give us an estimate on her time left, but I guess, in the big picture, that is really immaterial.

If I could humbly ask my friends here to maybe remember her in their thoughts. We hope to do everything possible to make her remaining time as easy, pain free and loving as possible.

Thanks.
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Consider it done my friend.
 
I'm very sorry to hear that. I lost my own father to pancreatic cancer in 1987. He was only 61.

As a family, listen closely to your mother and respect her wishes. Do what she wants to do, and resist the urge to pressure her in any way as far as her treatment is concerned. The reason I say this is because my mother is also 81, and has leaky heart valves. About 5 years ago, she was hospitalized and told she had only six months to live unless she underwent a heart valve replacement. My siblings wanted her to do this, and mom was feeling their pressure, but my mother did not desire this. She called me to her side and said "son, I do not want this surgery." I made certain her wishes were respected because it is her life, not my siblings. She did not believe she would survive the surgery and wanted to enjoy whatever time she had remaining without suffering through the recovery process of a major valve replacement surgery. As it has turned out, she is still here and content with her life, and enjoys her children and grand children.

Enjoy the time you have left with your mom and celebrate her life with her right now. Best wishes to you and your family.
 
Sorry to hear that new Av8r. Your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Best wishes for your entire family as you help your mom through this ordeal.
 
She'll be in my thoughts. I know how hard it is to even think about loosing someone to cancer having lost my grandfather(who I was very close to) to lung cancer last year. Not evn a month after his passing, we found out that my grandmother had stomach cancer. She is doing as well as can be now but had many complications from her surgery to remove the cancer. Then, my uncle started getting tested for pancreatic cancer. They say there's only a 10% chance that it isn't and that there's not much surgically that can be done.

So, as I am doing, treasure these times with your mother. And respect her wishes. The hospitals usually want to push for chemo and other treatments but if it's only going to make her last days less enjoyable by making her sick, what's the point.

My grandfather did the chemo treatments and it basically knocked him on his butt the last couple months he was allive. I remember talking to him just before he passed and him telling me that he wished he had never done the treatments as they only made him more sick.
 
Oh buddy :(
Im sorry. Hard to know what to say except I will pray HARD. Oh boy. I feel horrible. All my hopes.
May I ask her name so that my church can pray for her?
 
Thanks to all, here. It is appreciated. (** Sincere Smiley **)

As many have said, her wishes are what is important, now. Not what others in the family want for her (or themselves).

I'm POA so I'll be catching some heat on occasion for things that are not considered unanimous. I'm also the youngest of 4, so every decision will be questioned! Oh, boy.
 
Av8r3400 said:
I'm also the youngest of 4, so every decision will be questioned! Oh, boy.
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Me too. Bow up to your siblings and stand your ground for your mom if you have to. I did, and I'm glad of it. Yes, it is uncomfortable, but respecting your mom's wishes overides any personal discomfort.
 
Oh, I have no problem being the 'enforcer' in the family, too.

(I'm the only son. So I have a lot of would-be secondary mothers trying to control things...:doh:)
 
Av8r, my heart goes out to you, Mom, and the whole family. We could probably share some stories, as I am POA of my Mom, and also have 1 brother and 3 sisters. All of you are in my prayers. If you need to talk, let me know. I know how busy you are, and you know how busy I am, but I'll be in now & then. Prayers.
 
I understand your situation. My mother had an operation for colon cancer a couple of years ago. She said she would never undergo anything like that again. She was just in the hospital with symptoms of a recurrence, but has refused any more tests. It is hard, but we respect her wishes.

Hang in there. Our thoughts are with you.
 
My thought and prayers are with you and your family too. I lost my partner aged 57 with cancer, first lung cancer and then secondaries in the brain. I still miss him six years later.
 
A little sadder today. The doctor finally said in Mom's presents "... maybe a year...". This is finally sinking in for Mom. She just Emailed to my wife after she asked how Mom was feeling today:

Av8r's Mom said:
It seems like another Day, but I am now fully aware of whats going on the cavity of my body! I am not fearful only sad because I know how this will affect You, Sarah (Av8r's sister) and Larry! That hurts! I love you all so dearly, and hope I can love you more, when My body is gone~ Love Dorothy
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It's gonna be a tough day.
 
Av8r3400 said:
A little sadder today. The doctor finally said in Mom's presents "... maybe a year...". This is finally sinking in for Mom. She just Emailed to my wife after she asked how Mom was feeling today:



It's gonna be a tough day.
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well my thoughts and prayers are on going to help you through another day.....it's going to be a hard time so keep up your strength and try hard to stay strong for Mom.
 
At this point, there's not much left to do make make each minute of each day count for her and show her that she is loved and to be with her till the very end. May God grasp her in his loving arms when the time comes.
 
Av8r3400 said:
It's gonna be a tough day.
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Yes it will be.

Remember however, you are not alone.

Be thankful that you now know you have the time to spend with her, and have no regrets.

I was lucky enough to fly up to DC to see my mom the last day of her life and talk with her about her life, me and about what would happen with my father (she went down hill fast after her third valve replacement). Bad enough that I was the one who had to tell the doctors to remove the tube to end her life because my father wasn't able to. Crying just writing about it.

That said, that one day I spent with my mom, talking to her about everything was a gift which I am forever grateful for.

You as well now have that gift, be thankful.

God bless.
 
Thank you DZ, very much.

We are trying to do just that, spend as much time with her as we can, now, before the pain and suffering begins. The whole family is very much enjoying, as is she, her telling of stories of her early life and times.
 
Av8r3400 said:
Thank you DZ, very much.

We are trying to do just that, spend as much time with her as we can, now, before the pain and suffering begins. The whole family is very much enjoying, as is she, her telling of stories of her early life and times.
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I hope you are taking notes, and maybe some video. I kept intending to do that with my Mom, but never got to it. Now it's too late for us, and I regret it. But we did spend a lot of time with her, which we will always cherish.
Let her know other people are thinking of her, and wishing you all the best.
 
groomerguyNWO said:
At this point, there's not much left to do make make each minute of each day count for her and show her that she is loved and to be with her till the very end. May God grasp her in his loving arms when the time comes.
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I agree, groomerguy. My prayers are being sent for you and your family, Av8r3400.
 
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