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AS I AGE, I REALIZE THAT:

Catavenger

New member
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>>
>> 1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert
>> advice.
>>
>> 2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.
>>
>> 3. I don't need anger management...I need people to
>> stop pissing me off.
>>
>> 4. My people skills are just fine... It's my tolerance of
>> idiots that needs work.
>>
>> 5. The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write
>> that down, I'll remember it."
>>
>> 6. When I was a child I thought nap time was
>> punishment... Now it's like a mini vacation.
>>
>> 7. The day the world runs out of wine or beer is just too
>> terrible to think about.
>>
>> 8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the
>> sound!
>>
>> 9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the
>> dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and
>> three sizes smaller!
>>
>> 10. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put
>> them on my knees
>>
>> 11. When the kids text me "plz" which is shorter than
>> please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
>>
>> 12. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room
>> and remembering what I came in there for.
>>
>> 13. I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights".
>>
>> 14. I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
>>
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You have just stated 14 things about my existence that I was hoping to keep secret. Damn, that came pretty close to home!!!!
 
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