Application To Date My Daughter

[mtntopper]

Application For Permission To Date My Daughter​

[SIZE=-1]Note: [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician.[/SIZE]​

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Name: Date of Birth:Height: Weight: IQ: GPA: Social Security Number: Driver's License Number: Boy Scout Rank: Telephone: Home Address: City: State: Zip:

1. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____

1. If "No", explain:​
2. Number of years your parents have been married: ____
   
   Any brothers or sisters? ____
   Are they normal? ____​
3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____
   
   A truck with oversize tires? ____
   A waterbed? ____​
4. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____
5. Do you have a tattoo? ____
   
   If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.​
6. In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?
7. In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?
8. In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?
9. In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?
10. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
    
    How often do you attend: ____________________________​
11. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________
12. Please fill in the blanks:
    1. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________
    2. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________
    3. A woman's place is in the ____________________________
    4. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________
    5. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________
    1. Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised​
13. What do you want to be if you grow up?

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse. Signature of applicant _________________________________


Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative _________________________​

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.​

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[mtntopper]

Bob_S and all others with daughters,
You may copy and use this document in the future when your daughter gets old enough to date. I should of when my daughter was beginning to date. It would of been easier than cleaning the shot gun every week.....

 

[RoadKing]

TO ALL FATHERS OF FEMALE CHILDREN!!!!

Having four grown daughters gives me some experience to comment on this issue.

The only sure way to keep unacceptable males ( according to your standards ) away from your precious and lovely daughters is to lock them in a closet until they turn 21. Since that is illegal and a jailable offence all you can do is grin and bear it. Things that helped me are being over 6ft in height, 250 lbs, multiple tattoos, a harley and many friends with harleys. Be cleaning several handguns when a new kid comes by for the first time and don't smile the first time you meet him.

There is something to look forward to.
When they get married and have thier own kids you can get great entertainment out of watching their kids do to them what they did to you also watching your kids realize that they're turning into you. Great Fun.

In one particular case I had one daughter (who was a little more trouble than the rest) who now has a 13 yr old of her own I have taken on the responsibility of advising my grandaughter on the art of aggravating her mother. More Great Fun.

To all of you with young female children, My Best Wishes.


Photo of grandaughter in question taken this past April in Gettysburg. She's a great kid we have alot of fun together especially aggravating her mother.

 

[ddrane2115]

and when granddaughter starts to date.............grandpa will have copies of the above mentioned application......................

come on, admit it, you will.

my daughter is dating her former live with b/f. better this time, she spends weekdays here and weekends with friends and him...........she is a good kid, knows her limits, and knows what she is doing.

 

[Snowcat Operations]

Will copy above application and distribute to the courting young males in my daughters life! I like to have my Browning 1919 machine guns on the table and linking several thousand rounds (ok several hundred) when they show up. The biggest kick is when they go shoot with me and my daughter. They quickley learn what a full auto weapon is capable of and see how my 15 year old daughter can handle it like a vetern of WWII. The pukes I dont like seldom return and if they do have not done so more than twice! The ones I do like seem to take it in stride. BUT they ALL have that look as if I am crazy! Just the way I like it. My daughter gets a kick at how scared all of them are of me. That just warms me inside. But I still cant figure out why they are scared of me?