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Another blond joke

lilnixon

lilnixon

AKA LILVIXEN
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas . With his dummy on his knee, he starts going
through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting, 'I've heard enough of your stupid-ass, blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general..and all in the name of humor!'

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, 'You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee!!!'
 
Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?






















A: It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a television.
 
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F"? (letters only).

He smiled at her and replied,"S-H-I-T" (letters only)."

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.

The man smiled "S-H-I-T."

The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"

The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."
 
how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?




































Are you insane!?! I could chip a nay-ull!!!
 
What do you call a blond doing a hand stand........








A brunette with bad breath.

(I'll go to the corner now) :blink:
 
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A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
 
Recent Blonde Inventions:

1.Tricycle kickstand
2.Solar flashlight
3.Fire proof matches
4.Inflatable dartboard
5.Glass hammer
6.Black light bulb
7.Boomerang grenade
 
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it Pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes."
 
> A girl came skipping home from school one day.
>
>"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other
>kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9
>10!"
>
>"Very good." Said her mother.
>
>"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
>
>"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
>
>The next day the girl skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she
>yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could
>only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,B,C,D,E,F,G!"
>
>"Very good," said her mother.
>
>"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
>
>"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
>
>The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,"
>she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the
>other girls had a flat chest, but I have these?" And she lifted her tank top
>to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
>
>"Very good." Said her embarrassed mother. Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
>
>"No Honey, it's because you're 24."

 
Why was the blond fired from her job as QA inspector at the M&M candy factory?














She threw away all of the 'W's.











Wait, there's more......









I had an ex-girlfriend who, when hearing this joke at a party, made the following statement while most were chuckling at the joke....










"Why was she fired? The Ws are just as good as the Ms!" Everyone then proceded to eject libations from their mouths. Needless to say, my ex-GF was a blond.
 
grrrrrrr!!
anywhoo.. in a related tale, my ex-sister in law's hubby bought her a silver necklace with a fox on the chain (stating that he thought she was a "fox").. she opened it on Christmas day and said (swear to God) "What did you buy me a wolf necklace for?"
I still have scars on my lungs from laughing and my chin is still damaged from extreme jaw drop to the floor.
Yeah.. she's a blonde. :blink:
Brat! I saw it before you edited, Bobcatttttt!!:hammer::rolf2:
 
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