Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. –
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and
decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice that there is mail on the porch table
that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table;
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table
and take out the garbage first.
But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox,
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table,
and see that there is only 1 check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk
where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first
I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm,
and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye-
-they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter,
and I discover my reading glasses
that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I will be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember
what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail.
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF
IS THERAPEUTIC.
Oh! I just remembered...
I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and
decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice that there is mail on the porch table
that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table;
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table
and take out the garbage first.
But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox,
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table,
and see that there is only 1 check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk
where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first
I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm,
and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye-
-they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter,
and I discover my reading glasses
that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I will be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember
what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail.
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF
IS THERAPEUTIC.
Oh! I just remembered...
I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!
