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Advantages Of Being A Woman

Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

:biggrin:
 
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

:biggrin:

This is very nice Jackie. I just thought I could add a few thing from a mans view.
 
Even knowing all that .... I'd still rather be a MAN!!! :D
 
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Our ass is never a factor in a job interview.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Your last name stays put.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Foreplay is optional

Car mechanics tell us the truth.

We don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is our urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work ... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

We can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob us blind.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend

Our underwear is $6 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

We are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

We don't have to shave below your neck.

Our belly usually hides your big hips.

We can "do" our nails with a pocketknife.
[/FONT]
 
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Our ass is never a factor in a job interview.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Your last name stays put.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Foreplay is optional

Car mechanics tell us the truth.

We don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is our urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work ... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

We can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob us blind.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend

Our underwear is $6 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

We are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

We don't have to shave below your neck.

Our belly usually hides your big hips.

We can "do" our nails with a pocketknife.
[/FONT]


LOL!!! Good ones!:yum:
 
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