Rusty Shackleford
Automotive M.D.
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says: [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"No, no," says the bartender. "You've had too much already." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The drunk spies a dart board behind the bar. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Tell you what," he says. "If I can throw three bull's eyes with that dart set would you let me have the drink?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Sure," says the bartender, thinking the guy would leave after the little game. He hands the drunk three darts. "Look out, everybody!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Zot, zot, zot. The drunk throws three quick bull's eyes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well, the bartender had never seen anything like that before, but he has to make good on the wager, so he makes a martini and sets it before the drunk. He then puts a napkin next to the drink and sets a turtle on it. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"What's this," says the drunk. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"That's a prize for such fine dart throwing," says the bartender. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The drunk drinks his martini, picks up the turtle, puts it in his coat pocket, and leaves. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well, the next night, the same drunk goes into the same bar. Again, he is hopelessly inebriated; totally faced. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Bartender," he says. "Gimme a martini!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"No, no," says the bartender. "You're too drunk already. Go home." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Again the drunk notices the darts. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"If I can throw three bull's eyes would you gimme the martini?" he asks. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The bartender thinks, "This guy can't be that lucky again. I'll get rid of him." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Sure, sure," he says, handing the darts over. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bip, bip, bip. Three bull's eyes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Holy cow," says the bartender, and he gives the drunk guy a martini. Again, he sets a turtle next to it. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"What's this?" asks the drunk. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"That's a prize for being such a good shot." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Oh," says the drunk, and he quaffs his martini, puts the turtle in his coat pocket, and leaves. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Believe it or not, the very next night the same drunk enters the same bar. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Gimme a martini!" he demands. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"No, no," says the bartender. "You've been overserved already. Get on home." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Spying the dart board once more, the drunk guy says:"Would tossing three bull's eyes prove that I'm not overserved?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The bartender can't believe that anybody this drunk could possibly hit the dart board, let alone get three bull's eyes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"OK," he says, forking over the three darts. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The drunk deftly grabs all three darts and tosses them simultaneously. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Thwock! All three darts land solidly in the bull's eye! [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Unbelievable!" says the incredulous bartender. True to his word, he prepares a martini and sets it before the drunk guy. He then lays a beautiful long-stem rose on the bar next to the cocktail. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"What's this?" asks the drunk. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"That's a special prize for being so good at darts," says the bartender. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Oh," says the drunk. "All out of roast beef on a hard roll, huh?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"No, no," says the bartender. "You've had too much already." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The drunk spies a dart board behind the bar. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Tell you what," he says. "If I can throw three bull's eyes with that dart set would you let me have the drink?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Sure," says the bartender, thinking the guy would leave after the little game. He hands the drunk three darts. "Look out, everybody!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Zot, zot, zot. The drunk throws three quick bull's eyes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well, the bartender had never seen anything like that before, but he has to make good on the wager, so he makes a martini and sets it before the drunk. He then puts a napkin next to the drink and sets a turtle on it. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"What's this," says the drunk. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"That's a prize for such fine dart throwing," says the bartender. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The drunk drinks his martini, picks up the turtle, puts it in his coat pocket, and leaves. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well, the next night, the same drunk goes into the same bar. Again, he is hopelessly inebriated; totally faced. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Bartender," he says. "Gimme a martini!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"No, no," says the bartender. "You're too drunk already. Go home." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Again the drunk notices the darts. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"If I can throw three bull's eyes would you gimme the martini?" he asks. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The bartender thinks, "This guy can't be that lucky again. I'll get rid of him." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Sure, sure," he says, handing the darts over. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bip, bip, bip. Three bull's eyes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Holy cow," says the bartender, and he gives the drunk guy a martini. Again, he sets a turtle next to it. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"What's this?" asks the drunk. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"That's a prize for being such a good shot." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Oh," says the drunk, and he quaffs his martini, puts the turtle in his coat pocket, and leaves. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Believe it or not, the very next night the same drunk enters the same bar. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Gimme a martini!" he demands. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"No, no," says the bartender. "You've been overserved already. Get on home." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Spying the dart board once more, the drunk guy says:"Would tossing three bull's eyes prove that I'm not overserved?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The bartender can't believe that anybody this drunk could possibly hit the dart board, let alone get three bull's eyes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"OK," he says, forking over the three darts. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The drunk deftly grabs all three darts and tosses them simultaneously. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Thwock! All three darts land solidly in the bull's eye! [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Unbelievable!" says the incredulous bartender. True to his word, he prepares a martini and sets it before the drunk guy. He then lays a beautiful long-stem rose on the bar next to the cocktail. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"What's this?" asks the drunk. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"That's a special prize for being so good at darts," says the bartender. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Oh," says the drunk. "All out of roast beef on a hard roll, huh?"[/FONT]