A guy....

natty

New member
So this guy and I have been living in close proximity for about 2 years. We see each other in passing every now and then and exchange greetings. One day he asks me for my number, and I was very upfront about not wanting a relationship because I'm unfit, and that we can see if we can build a friendship.


He agreed and we exchanged numbers.

We spoke via text (not a phone caller type of person) for around a week straight...during that time he asked me to be in a relationship numerous times, in which I declined each time.

I explained to him that we're strangers who have exchanged greetings a few times, and asked him why he wants to rush.. he never answered that question.




When we first started communicating via telephone, he told me that he liked me a lot and that he wanted to be there for me and support me in any way that he could. That he liked talking to me and wanted to continue.




The last time I told him no, and asked him what's wrong with being friends... was 3 days ago.

I'm assuming that he got mad and blocked me or is ignoring me..since he never replied.



Was he genuinely interested and just felt defeated because perhaps he had worked up a lot of gumption to finally ask someone out that he really liked and is now disappointed and deflated?

Or is he just a desperately eager and lonely person with low self esteem who doesn't know his worth just willing to settle for anyone??

(He did say that he is single, lives alone, lonely, and has nobody)

Or was he just trying to use me to make someone else jealous enough to come back to him and be with him?

Perhaps the one who he really wants has somebody now, and he decided to get someone too? Maybe it's a tit for tat thing with them?? Maybe playing games.


Perhaps he saw me as a downtrodden spinster eager desperate and easy to manipulate??


(He did ask me for a picture of myself)



We're those red flags, or did he just genuinely see me as a nice person and wanted to lock in before anyone else did???


I really feel hurt sad and depressed now. I really did grow fond of him and developed a crush on him over the years...and I always hoped he would befriend me...

I am crushed, and keep constantly checking my phone hoping that he'd reach out to me...



Should I ignore him now if I see him in passing, or just wave and don't stop??
 
So, you've had a crush on him for two years. He finally makes a move and you put the brakes on it not wanting a relationship. So he got the hint and moved on. He doesn't want a friend. He wants a relationship.
 
So it has been almost a month, any update.

If I were the guy, and really wanted to date someone, and they said no, I would back off completely, and let them decide how we proceed.
If you truly enjoy spending time with him, and now miss him, why not drop by his house for a visit.
Go say hello, and let him know that you miss him.
Honesty really is best.
 
It’s hard to guess what this guy was thinking when he stopped talking to you. Maybe he had some personal issues, or maybe he was just playing games. The only way to find out is to talk to him honestly and openly, as a friend. You need to tell him how you felt when he disappeared. Maybe you could give him a chance, but only if he can prove that he’s serious and committed this time. You deserve someone who respects you and values you, not someone who leaves you hanging. I’m curious to know how things turn out for you two. Please keep us posted.
 
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