Junkman
Extra Super Moderator
A salesman went to the door of a young couple one day and rang the doorbell. After 3 rings and no answer, he assumed no one was home and decide to leave. He happened to pass by an open window and saw the couple naked on the sofa.
Being a pervert, he peered closer to get a better look. He notice the woman was sitting with her legs wide open, shaving her pubic area while staring at her husband. He, on the other hand, was naked, stroking himself, shaking his head wildly back and forth with his free hand splashing in the fish tank.
The salesman was embarrassed when a neighbor walked up and found him peeping. "These people need help!" said the salesman.
"No, they don't," replied the neighbor. "They're deaf, and the wife is just telling her husband he needs to cut the grass, but the husband is telling the wife ˜**** no! I'm going fishing."
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal, their throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
"You may think your boss is stupid, but remember if he was smart you probably wouldn't have a job"
---John Gotti, Mobster
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my own present instead of making you and dad shop for me."
"But mom," says the daughter, "some poor, helpless creature has to suffer so that you can have this coat. Don't you think that's kind of cruel?"
"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."
Being a pervert, he peered closer to get a better look. He notice the woman was sitting with her legs wide open, shaving her pubic area while staring at her husband. He, on the other hand, was naked, stroking himself, shaking his head wildly back and forth with his free hand splashing in the fish tank.
The salesman was embarrassed when a neighbor walked up and found him peeping. "These people need help!" said the salesman.
"No, they don't," replied the neighbor. "They're deaf, and the wife is just telling her husband he needs to cut the grass, but the husband is telling the wife ˜**** no! I'm going fishing."
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal, their throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
"You may think your boss is stupid, but remember if he was smart you probably wouldn't have a job"
---John Gotti, Mobster
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my own present instead of making you and dad shop for me."
"But mom," says the daughter, "some poor, helpless creature has to suffer so that you can have this coat. Don't you think that's kind of cruel?"
"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."