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A couple from Al Lowe

Doc

Doc

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Have you heard of "Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards"?

It was one of the first interactive PC games from way back in the early 80's. A Classic for sure. The object of the game was to get Larry laid. Very entertaining. One phrase I'll never forget from that game, was written on a bathroom stalll "Scott me up Beamy". That still makes me laugh.
Al Lowe wrote that game. Nowdays he's running a joke list. I found these two jokes on it. Google Al Lowe and Leisure Suit Larry if you'd like to know more.

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As the bus pulled away, a woman realized she had left her purse under the seat. Later, she called and was relieved that her bag had been found. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded her. One handed her two typewritten pages, her purse, and a box containing the purse's contents. "We inventory everything we find. It's all there," he explained. As she started to put everything back into her purse, he continued, "May we watch? We all tried and failed to get it all back inside. We're curious as to how you do it!"

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The newlyweds returned from their honeymoon to begin their new life together. But the first morning, he entered the kitchen to find his new bride crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I wanted to surprise you with a big breakfast, but I can't cook." He smiled and said, "There, there! I don't care about that. You come up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I like for breakfast." And off they went. When he hurried home for lunch, he found her in the kitchen, crying again. "Now what's wrong, Sweetie?" "Same as this morning: I can't cook." Again, he smiled and said, "Let's go up to the bedroom and I'll have lunch there!" And off they went again. That evening, when he got home from work, he found his new bride sliding naked down the banister. Then she ran up the stairs and slid down again. After her third roundtrip, he asked, "Honey? What in the hell are you doing?" And she replied, "Warming your supper!"
 
A spouse is someone who stands by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd only stayed single!

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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. "Did you see the morning paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I'm dead!" "Saw it," replied Finney. "Where're callin' from?"
 
Doc said:
A spouse is someone who stands by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd only stayed single!

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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. "Did you see the morning paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I'm dead!" "Saw it," replied Finney. "Where're callin' from?"
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:yum: :yum: :yum:
 
Here's a couple more:

Did you hear about the blonde who won an Olympic gold medal? She had it bronzed!

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A mother and daughter visited the little girl's grandmother's grave. Walking through the cemetery back to their car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you ask that?" "Because that tombstone says, 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
 
What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality!

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A man made a ham sandwich and carried it out to the patio to eat it. He sat down at the table, picked it his sandwich with both hands... and was stopped by his wife. "Here. Hold the baby while I fix myself a sandwich, too," she said. He balanced the tot between his left elbow and shoulder and was reaching for his sandwich when he noticed some mustard on his finger. Not having a napkin, he just licked it off. It was not mustard! No man ever put a baby down faster. When his wife's laughter finally subsided, she wiped the tears from her eyes and said, "Now you know why they call it 'Poupon."

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