42 million dead in bloodiest black friday event

[NorthernRedneck]

Wowzers

NEW YORK—According to emergency personnel, early estimates indicate that more than 42 million Americans were killed this past weekend in what is now believed to be the bloodiest Black Friday shopping event in history.

First responders reporting from retail stores all across the nation said the record-breaking post-Thanksgiving shopping spree carnage began as early as midnight on Friday, when 13 million shoppers were reportedly trampled, pummeled, burned, stabbed, shot, lanced, and brutally beaten to death while attempting to participate in early holiday sales events.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/42-million-dead-in-bloodiest-black-friday-weekend,30517/

 

[Suni]

I thought the onion was just a rag... not real news.

 

[FrancSevin]

The Onion is just a rag, sarcastic and sardonic.

But this is just crap.

Bad taste.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Bad taste...maybe. I just took it as a spoof mocking the insane madness that is black friday. Now they are trying to copy you guys up here. Stores were crazy mad up here the past couple days. We went to one store to stock up on clothes for the kids. They had a %50 off sale on everything in the store. As far as the rest of it and lining up at 2am outside a store waiting for it to open...you can have it. Won't ever catch me doing that.

 

[waybomb]

Christmas spirit is a thing of the past, and black Friday took it away.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

That is just crazy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkQVAb1DbjA#t=132

 

[JEV]

On the plus side, based on the last presidential election, 47% of the deceased are wagon riders, lessening the load on the rest of us. Just sayin'...