I am a JERK and it makes me smile!

About 45 days ago I opened up a very small retail store. The store is located in a 3 unit commercial building. The other tenants like having the store on the property because they can get coffee, soda, cigarettes and snacks without fighting traffic.

We were slowly building up new customers and then the

The adjacent property owner got into a fight with my landlord. Unfortunately the adjacent property owner has some political clout in town and my landlord does not. Neither do I.

So the 2 landlords are pissing at each other and I get screwed. The town comes out and issues me warnings and makes me remove signs that are attracting customers. AS SOON AS THE SIGNS CAME DOWN, MY SALES DROPPED 50%.

To make things worse, the town issued me code violations for selling cars and motorcycles. HUH I don't have any cars or motorcycles for sale!!!

So I checked the codes.

Then I went out and bought a BIG UGLY TRUCK. Vintage 1980's

I will park the truck right in front of the adjacent landowner's sign and block the view of his sign. On the side of the truck I am going to paint some advertising and for my store.

The truck will become a MUCH BIGGER SIGN than the little one that I had before.

I picked up 4 different colors of spray paint (about 48 cans total) and plan to paint it myself with some nice colors, just to make it extra special.

My landlord is laughing about the plan and he loves me for doing it. He hates the adjacent property owner with a passion.

HERE IS THE TRUCK. Don't you love the color? It was the cheapest truck I could find, and it actually runs (and stops) very well. $3200 cash.

I always knew you were a troublemaker.

I didn't start the fight, but I'm a shallow enough person to have fun while the fight is progressing.

B_Skurka said:

I picked up 4 different colors of spray paint (about 48 cans total) and plan to paint it myself with some nice colors, just to make it extra special.

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I guess you were desperate to find a use for those two cans of PINK spray paint!

buckle97 said:

I guess you were desperate to find a use for those two cans of PINK spray paint!

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Darn, I forgot about those. That makes it 5 colors!!!

After things get settled, I want dibs on the truck!

Big Dog said:

After things get settled, I want dibs on the truck!

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Uh, sorry, but none of the paint I purchased is PURPLE

Good thinking Bob. More than one way to skin a cat.
Post pics of it once the sign is done and it's in place.

B_Skurka said:

I didn't start the fight, but I'm a shallow enough person to have fun while the fight is progressing.

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You go BOB !!

Better to be pissed.......off ............than pissed..........on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post more pics.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B_Skurka said:

Uh, sorry, but none of the paint I purchased is PURPLE

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You have no taste for color then!!!!!!!!!!

Ataway,Bob!!!! Show him you can piss back!!!!
Mike

So what is with the selling cars and motorcycles?
Bonehead

BoneheadNW said:

So what is with the selling cars and motorcycles?
Bonehead

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I didn't understand that one, but found out that one of the kids who works at the muffler shop next door rides a motorcycle. Apparently he is selling it. So he drives it to work, parks it in the front parking lot, puts a FOR SALE sign on it while it is there, and then drives it home at night. But somehow I got pegged as the bad guy because I'm new to the complex?

I found out a little more to the story. My landlord got a call from the next door property owner and the two guys got into an argument on the phone. An hour later the guy from the next property shows up and starts yelling at one of my clerks shouting that she is parking on his lot. She pointed to her car, on our lot, and the guy screamed at her and stormed out of the store. About an hour after that is when the city inspector showed up and informed that clerk that we were in violation of the sign ordnance.

Mind you all, on the same street are dozens of similarly placed similarly constructed signs.

I also found out the Enterprise Rent a Car shop, who is also in the complex I am in, is also pissed at the neighboring property. Apparently the Enterprise Rent a Car actually uses the guys lot as a shortcut. So again, I am getting blamed for things other people are doing.

But on the bright side, I spent a couple hours prepping and painted tonight. Got 2 bright yellow stripes on the truck. One on each side. Each is about 12" wide. Below that stripe will be a bright red stripe that will go down to the rocker panels. Above the yellow stripe will be painted all black. Then I will have some HIGHLY REFLECTIVE lettering put on the black part, near the top of the truck. Probably 12" tall?

It will be a thing of beauty!!!

Old John had most of the prime property in Palmer MA. One piece, had just over 30 acres along side the Mass pike and butt up against the pike's exit 8. John and his wife had a swap shop, only small bldg on this 30 acres, called the trading post,,, John tried for years for a permit to advertise the trading post,,, Town elected officials turned him down every time,,, Well, I use to do backhoe, moonlighting for John now and then, I also ran my own tractor trailer unit during this time, One day John called and asked me to move on his property a Seagrave hook and ladder, 100 ft wood ladder, that he bought at auction in the nearby city of Springfield MA,... John had signs made up that permanently bolted to the end of that ladder,, In the morning, John's son ran the old H & L right out along side the chain link fence separating him from the pike, then the son raised the ladder 100 ft in the air,,, The town fathers obviously were tear ass at him,. He said, it's mobile and not permanent, no lights on it, comes down and gets put away each night... nothing they could do to him... Where there's the will, there will be a way.

LarryRB said:

The town fathers obviously were tear ass at him,. He said, it's mobile and not permanent, no lights on it, comes down and gets put away each night... nothing they could do to him... Where there's the will, there will be a way.

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And that is my theory too. . . . here is a 'tongue in cheek' version of what the truck will look like when done

The truck is about 9 feet tall. The cargo body is 12' long. It will be parked to mostly obscure the neighbor's sign, which is right on the property line next to our parking lot. His sign is 8' wide by 12' tall. So this truck will do a pretty good job of covering his sign.

Oh, and just in case the town runs the license plates to see where the truck belongs, I used that store's address on the registration

Bob you got me laughing on this thread. You go for it. I am just jealous as I would not have thought of it myself in the same situation.


murph

Just make sure that you have fire and comprehensive insurance on it. I can see it now when one night someone throws a Molotov cocktail at it...

thcri said:

Bob you got me laughing on this thread. You go for it. I am just jealous as I would not have thought of it myself in the same situation.


murph

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Murph, this particular town charged me $300 for a permit to replace an existing awning?!?

I priced out a bigger sign on the building and it would have been about $7500 (including permits). That sign would be much smaller than the side of this truck. I paid $3200 for the truck. $212 for the license plate. Each can of spray paint is about 4 bucks. I bought 2 dozen cans. And the truck actually runs well so I can use it if I need it and I'm in compliance with the laws.

I'm not trying to 'get away' with anything. I simply want to run the store. We have not even broken even yet, but were growing our sales toward the break even point. When this whole mess started our sales were cut in half. And from what I can tell, the sign ordnance is being enforced very selectively against me, but not against a few dozen other stores that still have similar signs. On top of that, I didn't start any fight, I didn't even do most of what I've been accused of (technically we did have a sign in violation but we did remove it when we were notified. . . but like I said, that is the whole selective enforcement boloney).

Bob,I got a feeling this will get very interesting before it's over. Please keep us up to date on it.
Thanks,
Mike

B_Skurka said:

Oh, and just in case the town runs the license plates to see where the truck belongs, I used that store's address on the registration

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Beautiful!
Bone

Oh you havent even begun to fight yet! As far as the FOR sale of vehicles I would have that nipped in the bud right now. Also the squeeky wheel gets the oil. This guy is an obvious PAIN in the ASS to the city and the CITY will do anything to get him off there back. NOW you need to be the squeeky wheel. I would have your attorney call them and demand on what grounds you were sighted for having vehicles for sale. Also have him ask if the city was always so blantant about discriminating? You have a smoke shop. They are discriminating against you. You have been cited for a sign which you removed. BUT clearly others in the same area still have simular signs. They have not been cited or even given a warning. They cited you without cause for vehicles being for sale at your business which there are not and never have been by your business. Yet they clearly cited YOU because you own a SMOKE SHOP. Discrimination is a horrible thing BOB. Hell I feel a bit of a mental problem coming on because of such blatant discrimination. In war and business is war you need to attack with overwhelming force. Take the upper hand and crush your enemy. If you always react you will never win in anything. Attack attack attack! I would find out how many "VANS" you can have legally parked on your property and in the immediate area. I would then line them up right in front of his shop and move them as required by Law. I would hire someone to come in at night and put the required milage on them and mix them up as he reparks them right in front of his shop. Then I would have a diesel truck go and park at his business everyday to just go in and look around as this truck leaks thicks globuals of oil and grease right in front of his store. I would then post his picture in the local Male looking for Male companion and list his business address and phone number. It would be a simple thing to get a good picture of him. I could go on but I dont want to give away all my battle plans.

We also want pictures!

What your signs were blocking other signs or something? So now you park a YOUR delivery truck in the lot so that you are not using a SIGN so to say.

Better idea, put a boxing ring in the parking lot, sell soda's etc......from your store, and let them to duke it out.

Snowcat Operations said:

As far as the FOR sale of vehicles I would have that nipped in the bud right now.

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Already had the letter sent to the city demanding to be expunged from the 'vehicle' offenses. Also informed them of the other signs, and asked how to get permits for said signs on my property. If in 10 days no permit application appears on my desk, the city will get a telephone book thick letter that will show every sign in the city that is in code violation and a notice of selective enforcement and harassment of my business.

Danny said:

Better idea, put a boxing ring in the parking lot, sell soda's etc......from your store, and let them to duke it out.

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That is the best idea so far!

Bob
When I was a town selectman and started the economic dev. board, to entice business in the small town,, the overall townspeople were always against any business in town, What I use to do then, was write letters to the editor, which in turn embarrassed a lot of people,, Write in the local news paper wherever this shop is, and tell them,, new business, it is obvious though that this area is anti business and trying to drive out the business tax base,, Selective sign requirements, other property owners that seem jealous and cause local arguments, etc, etc,,, Don't know about your area, but here in New England the locals can't handle anything in a letter to editor that seeks out certain problems, without naming names but alluding to a certain group., And Yes, by my third year, others took my lead and tried the same against me, Especially the school marms and my thoughts on a school budget, try it, you can't beleive what happens after a couple of letters to the editor..

Snowcat Operations said:

I would then post his picture in the local Male looking for Male companion and list his business address and phone number. It would be a simple thing to get a good picture of him.

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That is a great idea to keep in mind, just in case. That is better than the time someone at work scheduled a colonoscopy for me and had the nurse call me at work. During a busy time at work, a page comes over the p.a. at work "Bonehead, you have a call regarding your colonoscopy.....". Male to male companion book - by the way, how do you know of such things?
Bonehead

Progress Report.

The yellow stripe on the truck is now complete. Below the yellow will be red. Above the yellow will be black.

Not sure what I am going to do with the door or the front/back of the truck.

First photo is the BEFORE photo. The white spots visible in some photos are primer to cover some rough areas I sanded down before painting.

Better keep your daytime job....... as a bodyman/painter...... you are too slow.

Well done Bob!

Vin, you ain't seen 'nuttin' yet!

The red that will go below that yellow stripe is also a very bright & glossy red.

And I just ordered "reflective lettering" for the side. 12" tall by 10' long. That should look pretty good, especially at night when the headlights from the traffic that pass by hit them! The lettering will be along the top and that area will be painted gloss black.

It's gunna be a reel 'perdy truck!!!

Bob, the more I think about it you need FIVE delivery trucks instead of one. Why only block his sign when you can block his entire business?????